Wow, I finally feel normal again. The sickness is almost gone, the kids haven't had fevers for 3 days, and I finally am back at the gym.
Parenting can really sap you.
I also got to do a lot of cuddling, and hugging and I stopped myself from worrying about what I wasn't doing, and worried about my babies.
Ironically a friend of mine passed on a link the last couple days that kinda sums it all up. I have personally shared this one before on Facebook- but for those of you who haven't read it, I am posting it here. If you are a parent, read! Even if you aren't, its worth a look.
I love the woman who wrote this, whomever she is. From The Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
Enjoy and have a super day.
A little bit of everyday insanity, creativity, and some vino mixed in.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
sick sick, go away- come again...well, just don't.
So I don't think its good for a blogger to not blog....just sayin'. But this last week has been a bit rough when it comes to time and focus. This time all 3 boys got sick- some viral syndrome which basically totes a steady fever, for possibly up to 2 weeks. Oh gads. Well Everett got it last Friday, so that cancelled our St. Pats plans, then by Monday night they all had it. Fevers, Tag threw up, and all have coughs and snot. By Tuesday evening I had it. Lots of staying in the house, treating the fever. Just when it goes away...BAM, someone elses' goes back up.
So needless to say, not a lot of time on my hands and when I do have it, we all try to rest.
However, you know me. I cannot and will not sit still and stand by while precious time is ticking.
So I started the painting of the house. YES! I got the entire kitchen and hall done, and it wasn't that bad!! I did this because my husband stayed home with me on Tuesday to help with kiddies, so I jumped at the chance. Now I have slowed up again and will start when he gets back for the weekend. I LOVE (luv luv) the color and how it totally brightens up the place! Cannot wait to get it up on the big walls!
The only thing I dread about painting, is taping. Taping and I do not love each other. As a matter of fact, if someone came to me and said "I need you to paint my 3000 sq ft house, but don't worry, I will do the taping" I would say sure! But if someone came to be and said I need you to paint my 900 sq ft home and tape all the windows/cabinets/etc, I may say bite it.
This is why I did the kitchen first. I dread all the doors, cabinets, windows....ugh.
Anyway, I think my goal of having this all done by my son's birthday is definitely doable.
The paint color is Benjamin Moore "Light Pewter". (of course I had Behr paint matched, because with needing a 5 gallon pail, BM is a bit over my budget!! and I am always happy with Home Depots Behr paint).
I love this color cause it is brighter, but not white- it is more of a gray, but when the sun hits it you can see a warm brown/pewter look to it. It will work so well with all the other pieces I have been doing.
Speaking of pieces, I cant wait to show you my latest, but wanna get it on the wall first. It's AWESOME- let's just say it got a 'high 5!' and was so super duper easy to do now that I have my new overhead projector that I got at the auction...I sure do love my auction.
Anywhoo, I will try to keep back on the radar and keep you updated on all the projects inbetween the snotty noses. ;-)
So needless to say, not a lot of time on my hands and when I do have it, we all try to rest.
However, you know me. I cannot and will not sit still and stand by while precious time is ticking.
So I started the painting of the house. YES! I got the entire kitchen and hall done, and it wasn't that bad!! I did this because my husband stayed home with me on Tuesday to help with kiddies, so I jumped at the chance. Now I have slowed up again and will start when he gets back for the weekend. I LOVE (luv luv) the color and how it totally brightens up the place! Cannot wait to get it up on the big walls!
The only thing I dread about painting, is taping. Taping and I do not love each other. As a matter of fact, if someone came to me and said "I need you to paint my 3000 sq ft house, but don't worry, I will do the taping" I would say sure! But if someone came to be and said I need you to paint my 900 sq ft home and tape all the windows/cabinets/etc, I may say bite it.
This is why I did the kitchen first. I dread all the doors, cabinets, windows....ugh.
Anyway, I think my goal of having this all done by my son's birthday is definitely doable.
The paint color is Benjamin Moore "Light Pewter". (of course I had Behr paint matched, because with needing a 5 gallon pail, BM is a bit over my budget!! and I am always happy with Home Depots Behr paint).
I love this color cause it is brighter, but not white- it is more of a gray, but when the sun hits it you can see a warm brown/pewter look to it. It will work so well with all the other pieces I have been doing.
.JPG) |
| See all the lovely green Frogtape? It was the only 'green' I saw on St. Pats |
 |
| Light Pewter from Benjamin Moore |
Speaking of pieces, I cant wait to show you my latest, but wanna get it on the wall first. It's AWESOME- let's just say it got a 'high 5!' and was so super duper easy to do now that I have my new overhead projector that I got at the auction...I sure do love my auction.
Anywhoo, I will try to keep back on the radar and keep you updated on all the projects inbetween the snotty noses. ;-)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A day in the life with Taggert...
Well, it seems I can never get anything done. I know that is wrong, because everyone tells me. Especially my husband. However, I do not get them done in the fashion or quickness that I would prefer. So all of the 'projects' I am listing, is kinda making me sad. Because with 3 boys at home I can barely get the typical stuff done. Any of you who know my kids understand what I mean....for those of you that don't, when I say they are 'active' I mean business. Most people say "oh, yes mine too- they are constantly on the go, playing, never stop...." etc.
Well, I don't feel your pain. I am going to be that mom right now, and say you have no idea what I face. (I know a few do, but still...) I have switched out 3 kitchen tables, various chairs, moved lamps, taken down doors (yes) and curtains, in hopes to have less chasing and cleaning up to do. My son Zane is active- and needs or wants lots of attention. Everett is the one that cries and whines the most, but Taggert...oh Tag. I knew when you were in my womb that it was going to be difficult. I knew which one you were by the way you punched and kicked and literally pushed your brother into one spot and kept him there, and I knew that when you came out, it was going to be a challenge. Well, I was right. You immediately had terrible reflux and we put you on meds. You had bronchomylasia so you coughed non stop- for the first 5 months you slept on my chest, or in a bouncer, or on a 50 degree angle reflux pillow which you were strapped into in your crib. Nothing lasted more than a month or so, and we were on to the next solution that would 'work' for you, or contain you.
Thank the Lord, that all got considerably better at 6 months, and we had no long term illnesses, which I find to be a blessing these days, especially with twins. I brought these guys home immediately, weighing over 7 lbs a piece, 4 weeks early! Doesn't get better than that.
I was also blessed that Everett is a polar opposite of Taggert. He is calm, very slow moving when trying new things, and slept through the night at 7 weeks. It was like he knew his brother was going to need the attention those first 6 months. Oh what a blessing. Cause Tag does require some attention....
Flash forward, they are 22 months old now. I am constantly trying to maintain my home. The phrase "I can't have anything nice with you kids" truly makes sense now.
Like I said, I've changed furniture (tables and chairs not stable enough, rungs broken, lamps broken, couches are ripped) and I can honestly say most of it is due to Tag. Ev of course follows along more and more these days. To get on the couch, Tag would knock down a kitchen chair, drag it over, and climb on it to jump over the back. Seriously, at 18 months. He will now walk through a room, reach up and pull off anything he can- glasses of water, wine, remotes, food bowls. He's fast. Super fast.
Today I came out to find them both eating plums. How you may ask? He has found a way to climb up the dishwasher...hmm.
We've already had the first fall down the stairs, the bitten tongue, and the head stitches.
Dances on tables, but i'm sure that is genetic. This was at 15 months old.
This is the bench (that we have to put on top of the table after each meal, because he climbs on it), that he was caught getting on. He literally stood on it and jumped. I caught this much before running...You can see the chair over to the left that he tipped, and managed to get on the table with. Brother followed. This was after raiding the closet for hats, etc. obviously.
As I type this post, he is jumping from the footstool over to the TV stand, laughing. I have stopped at least 10 times now to pull him off. As I approach, he jumps, expecting I will catch him. Fearless and crazy. And touching daddys TV. That in itself is courageous...
There you go, a day in the life with Tag. Gotta run cause he is now jumping off the coffee table onto the stuffed bear about 10 ft away.
Well, I don't feel your pain. I am going to be that mom right now, and say you have no idea what I face. (I know a few do, but still...) I have switched out 3 kitchen tables, various chairs, moved lamps, taken down doors (yes) and curtains, in hopes to have less chasing and cleaning up to do. My son Zane is active- and needs or wants lots of attention. Everett is the one that cries and whines the most, but Taggert...oh Tag. I knew when you were in my womb that it was going to be difficult. I knew which one you were by the way you punched and kicked and literally pushed your brother into one spot and kept him there, and I knew that when you came out, it was going to be a challenge. Well, I was right. You immediately had terrible reflux and we put you on meds. You had bronchomylasia so you coughed non stop- for the first 5 months you slept on my chest, or in a bouncer, or on a 50 degree angle reflux pillow which you were strapped into in your crib. Nothing lasted more than a month or so, and we were on to the next solution that would 'work' for you, or contain you.
Thank the Lord, that all got considerably better at 6 months, and we had no long term illnesses, which I find to be a blessing these days, especially with twins. I brought these guys home immediately, weighing over 7 lbs a piece, 4 weeks early! Doesn't get better than that.
I was also blessed that Everett is a polar opposite of Taggert. He is calm, very slow moving when trying new things, and slept through the night at 7 weeks. It was like he knew his brother was going to need the attention those first 6 months. Oh what a blessing. Cause Tag does require some attention....
Flash forward, they are 22 months old now. I am constantly trying to maintain my home. The phrase "I can't have anything nice with you kids" truly makes sense now.
Like I said, I've changed furniture (tables and chairs not stable enough, rungs broken, lamps broken, couches are ripped) and I can honestly say most of it is due to Tag. Ev of course follows along more and more these days. To get on the couch, Tag would knock down a kitchen chair, drag it over, and climb on it to jump over the back. Seriously, at 18 months. He will now walk through a room, reach up and pull off anything he can- glasses of water, wine, remotes, food bowls. He's fast. Super fast.
Today I came out to find them both eating plums. How you may ask? He has found a way to climb up the dishwasher...hmm.
We've already had the first fall down the stairs, the bitten tongue, and the head stitches.
 |
| Likes to wear any shoes laying out... |
 |
| bloody and smiling on the way to ER, with a pink Paci I grabbed hastily. |
I've gotten ridden of at least 3 trash cans, purchasing plastic, with locks, cause he loves to tip it over in the kitchen, dump out the contents and run with his favorite piece of trash...
 |
| Dont worry! It was empty!! |
Dances on tables, but i'm sure that is genetic. This was at 15 months old.
This is the bench (that we have to put on top of the table after each meal, because he climbs on it), that he was caught getting on. He literally stood on it and jumped. I caught this much before running...You can see the chair over to the left that he tipped, and managed to get on the table with. Brother followed. This was after raiding the closet for hats, etc. obviously.
As I type this post, he is jumping from the footstool over to the TV stand, laughing. I have stopped at least 10 times now to pull him off. As I approach, he jumps, expecting I will catch him. Fearless and crazy. And touching daddys TV. That in itself is courageous...
There you go, a day in the life with Tag. Gotta run cause he is now jumping off the coffee table onto the stuffed bear about 10 ft away.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Monday, Monday, Monday- your improving :-)
Well, as I sit here, I drink my first glass of wine today, and it isn't quite 4 pm. I give up! Don't get me wrong, I have been having a great day, I just realize that from here on out I will get nothing project wise accomplished until the hubby gets home. I am ok with that- because I started my week off right.
This morning I went to the gym locally that we are looking at joining. We are trying a one week pass, just to see how the kiddies do, etc.
I took all 3 boys, got there around 9:15 and proceeded to the workout area after extensive coverage of all things "Kids". They seemed fine- my 4 year old took his coat off and put it in the cubby before I could even say hello.
So I then went to the cardio section, and oh my! How long has it been Ive been working out at home? I mean, we have a nice treadmill, and a gym style elliptical, but I didn't realize how many other 'gadgets' were out there. There was definitely one bonus: while at home I always think I should be watching my ipad with some videos- to motivate (hot bods, tight abs, you know the drill). Well, these new fangled machines got all that!!!
I have to say, I really enjoyed myself. I have lots to relearn as to what to take to the gym; how to be 'gym ready' if you will: water bottle, padlock, glucose just incase!. Yes, I workout, but I am lucky if I get a 1/2 hour in most times, so I wasn't prepared to work out for an hour +. I started to panic at how my glucose may drop and I had no sugar or money for juice....visions of me wobbling to the front desk explaining my low started to sink in my head. Next time I will be more prepared!
Yes, next time. Because I need it, because this is one of my selfish acts I keep talking about. Honestly though, its not so selfish. My kids get to play- ALOT. Outside of the home. With other kids. You get the drift. My only fear in that area was PLEASE don't let them bite someone, or punch a kid, or check their own diaper like Everett seems to do, often to find quite the mess upon his hands. Literally.
The worst of that was when I got in there and said it was time to go, my 4 year old announced "I gotta poop!". Great. Thanks for that info, and thanks for sharing.
Anyway, it went well. I am very optimistic even though it is going to put a dent in the budget. However, I also hope to start selling some product to cover such things.
On another note, I got my paint yesterday for the house. I am giddy with anticipation and cranky with realization...hmm. * pause. drink.*
It is going to be a long project- I would estimate it will take weeks with an hour here, an hour there. My goal is to have it done by my sons birthday party, April 14th. BTW, I got some super cute invites done (no, I had no inkling to try and do them myself, you must be nuts. Yes, I understand this was my previous life. Had no interest in revisiting at this time). Just to advertise, because Nancy was so accomodating and made custom changes at no charge, here is her website:
www.festivityfavors.com
Anyway, back to the painting. I am ready!!!! I love love love the color, and I think it is going to make all my other decor POP. I also purchased product for 2 other projects....I know you are holding your breath....well.... don't. I have 3 boys, who knows how long these could take to complete. You will surely pass out.
So happy Monday- I hope you are treating yourself well, and being creative in your own way. Trust me, it will help your sanity. XO
This morning I went to the gym locally that we are looking at joining. We are trying a one week pass, just to see how the kiddies do, etc.
I took all 3 boys, got there around 9:15 and proceeded to the workout area after extensive coverage of all things "Kids". They seemed fine- my 4 year old took his coat off and put it in the cubby before I could even say hello.
So I then went to the cardio section, and oh my! How long has it been Ive been working out at home? I mean, we have a nice treadmill, and a gym style elliptical, but I didn't realize how many other 'gadgets' were out there. There was definitely one bonus: while at home I always think I should be watching my ipad with some videos- to motivate (hot bods, tight abs, you know the drill). Well, these new fangled machines got all that!!!
I have to say, I really enjoyed myself. I have lots to relearn as to what to take to the gym; how to be 'gym ready' if you will: water bottle, padlock, glucose just incase!. Yes, I workout, but I am lucky if I get a 1/2 hour in most times, so I wasn't prepared to work out for an hour +. I started to panic at how my glucose may drop and I had no sugar or money for juice....visions of me wobbling to the front desk explaining my low started to sink in my head. Next time I will be more prepared!
Yes, next time. Because I need it, because this is one of my selfish acts I keep talking about. Honestly though, its not so selfish. My kids get to play- ALOT. Outside of the home. With other kids. You get the drift. My only fear in that area was PLEASE don't let them bite someone, or punch a kid, or check their own diaper like Everett seems to do, often to find quite the mess upon his hands. Literally.
The worst of that was when I got in there and said it was time to go, my 4 year old announced "I gotta poop!". Great. Thanks for that info, and thanks for sharing.
Anyway, it went well. I am very optimistic even though it is going to put a dent in the budget. However, I also hope to start selling some product to cover such things.
On another note, I got my paint yesterday for the house. I am giddy with anticipation and cranky with realization...hmm. * pause. drink.*
It is going to be a long project- I would estimate it will take weeks with an hour here, an hour there. My goal is to have it done by my sons birthday party, April 14th. BTW, I got some super cute invites done (no, I had no inkling to try and do them myself, you must be nuts. Yes, I understand this was my previous life. Had no interest in revisiting at this time). Just to advertise, because Nancy was so accomodating and made custom changes at no charge, here is her website:
www.festivityfavors.com
Anyway, back to the painting. I am ready!!!! I love love love the color, and I think it is going to make all my other decor POP. I also purchased product for 2 other projects....I know you are holding your breath....well.... don't. I have 3 boys, who knows how long these could take to complete. You will surely pass out.
So happy Monday- I hope you are treating yourself well, and being creative in your own way. Trust me, it will help your sanity. XO
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Some new Etsy product, now to launch the store...
Hello everyone!
This week is already getting away from me- I have (yet again) sick kids. This time it's the twins. Everett had a fever yesterday of 102, and we were up most of the night as well. Taggert hasn't gotten the fever, but instead covers everything with snot. Nice. He sneezes, he wipes it across something...anything..sleeve, bedding, mommys leg. You get the idea.
Anyway, yesterday I still tried to accomplish quite a few things, like running some errands, signing up for parent/teacher conferences (will fill you in on that i'm sure!), organizing my Pinterest boards, and I picked up some new pieces I created for the Etsy store.
I have tried to round it out to 'interesting home decor' which will consist of refurbished furniture, creative pieces from wood, and I also wanted to add something with a little modern edge. This would be the graphic pieces.
I have 4 samples of wall hangings. I will create various pieces, and then will offer them with 4 different options: beveled, standout, metal, and just poster print. I am sure I will add wood to that eventually too, but starting here for now. Hope you like them!
1) First is with a beveled edge. Can be done in various sizes, and with silver or black bevel.
This is done in 8x8 with black beveled edge and regular finish. I am trying to live these words :-)
2) This second one is done on metal, and in a luminescent finish. Love these- this is also an 8x8- how cool would 3 coordinating be sitting on a wall shelf ?? You can also order any of these with hanging hardware.
3) This third one is on a standout, which offers black or white edging. I believe I did this is an 10x13. I intend to do a 'silhouettes' line of different vintage stuff like this mic.
4) Last but not least, I did a basic print, which can be mounted or framed. I did it in a linen photo finish, sized 11x14. I would love to see this extra large on a standout in white, but since this is a sample, I went lower key. Plus prints will be offered without any mounting.
So, that is a start! I hope you like them.... I'm certainly having fun, just finding the challenge to be time. I need to manage my projects better in some way, with 3 kids at home! Otherwise I flounder and take far too long to complete something. I am coming up with a method, hopefully I can share some of the solutions with you all soon.
Happy Wednesday folks!
This week is already getting away from me- I have (yet again) sick kids. This time it's the twins. Everett had a fever yesterday of 102, and we were up most of the night as well. Taggert hasn't gotten the fever, but instead covers everything with snot. Nice. He sneezes, he wipes it across something...anything..sleeve, bedding, mommys leg. You get the idea.
Anyway, yesterday I still tried to accomplish quite a few things, like running some errands, signing up for parent/teacher conferences (will fill you in on that i'm sure!), organizing my Pinterest boards, and I picked up some new pieces I created for the Etsy store.
I have tried to round it out to 'interesting home decor' which will consist of refurbished furniture, creative pieces from wood, and I also wanted to add something with a little modern edge. This would be the graphic pieces.
I have 4 samples of wall hangings. I will create various pieces, and then will offer them with 4 different options: beveled, standout, metal, and just poster print. I am sure I will add wood to that eventually too, but starting here for now. Hope you like them!
1) First is with a beveled edge. Can be done in various sizes, and with silver or black bevel.
This is done in 8x8 with black beveled edge and regular finish. I am trying to live these words :-)
2) This second one is done on metal, and in a luminescent finish. Love these- this is also an 8x8- how cool would 3 coordinating be sitting on a wall shelf ?? You can also order any of these with hanging hardware.
3) This third one is on a standout, which offers black or white edging. I believe I did this is an 10x13. I intend to do a 'silhouettes' line of different vintage stuff like this mic.
4) Last but not least, I did a basic print, which can be mounted or framed. I did it in a linen photo finish, sized 11x14. I would love to see this extra large on a standout in white, but since this is a sample, I went lower key. Plus prints will be offered without any mounting.
So, that is a start! I hope you like them.... I'm certainly having fun, just finding the challenge to be time. I need to manage my projects better in some way, with 3 kids at home! Otherwise I flounder and take far too long to complete something. I am coming up with a method, hopefully I can share some of the solutions with you all soon.
Happy Wednesday folks!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Follow up to hearts and flowers
As I sit here on this cold, beautiful snow covered morning, I realize how blessed I am. My 4 year old and husband are cuddling on the floor, twins are still sleeping. I thought this was the perfect time to do a follow up on my last post regarding parenting.
First off, I was surprised at how many e-mails, facebook comments etc I got after that post. I realize that there is a downside to being overly honest, but I believe there is also an upside. I am glad I wrote that last post, because it worked as therapy for me. I also got some great feedback from other moms that I truly appreciated! We are not in this alone. Quite often I take it on all by myself and don't want to 'vent' to others. However, once in awhile it is necessary.
The biggest response I got, was to have faith. I must admit, my faith has been weak now for a couple years, with financial issues, family health issues, work issues, etc. However, I always thank the Lord for everything that I have.
So, the question lies for me still: why do I get so angry, frustrated, hopeless, and straight crazy? Well, life in general can make you that way sometimes, but after sitting down with my husband friday night and having a discussion (which we have not done in forever, and that is part of the problem!) we both realized some things. Now, to give you some background first, my husband is the most patient, supportive, understanding man I have ever met. Yes, his domestic abilities are not that of my own, but if thats the only complaint, I think you get my drift.
Well, he worries about my health all the time with me being a Type 1 diabetic. He also tracks my moods- literally, on his calendar has been tracking my pms since the twins were born. It seemed to instantly get worse after the babies, so my Dr. prescribed meds for PMDD.
I am NOT a pill taker. Not good at it, never have been, doubt I ever will be. So I am not consistent.
Anyway, he sat me down and told me how worried he was. We then determined that this "Crazy, anger infused" spiral I fall into happens like clockwork. Each month.
I ask this: How, HOW can PMS alone make you want to throw yourself in the car and drive far away from everything you love? Well, I am beginning to think it can. I recently (December) got the Novasure procedure to reduce my periods as they too got worse after kids. The Dr. said that people sometimes show a reduction in PMS symptoms, but that is not a guarantee. Well, I guess I was hoping for a miracle there.
So knowing this now, we are going to take some preventative steps...exercise, low sugar low caffeine diet, sleep (I go to the basement, he takes care of kids) and now the addition of b12 patches, to see how things go. I did some research and show many symptoms of b12 deficiency. I have taken it in pill form before, but as you read above, not so good in the pill taking department.
I will have to keep you all updated on how that works- I would also love it if you could share with me any of your pms reducing tricks.
Ironically I woke up Friday morning, feeling great and like a completely different person than the day before. Crazy isn't it? Scary too. Yes, my kids drive me crazy, they wear me out and I am constantly exhausted. But I look at them and I feel so much love it is overwhelming. So how did I feel the way I did just a few days prior?
Feeling guilty for the way I acted, I told my son I was so sorry. Sorry mommy acted the way she did and lost her temper so often. Sorry I didn't play with him. I told him I would try harder. I told him I loved him no matter what. He replied "I know that mommy, I always know that."
Well then, I guess I'm doing something right.
First off, I was surprised at how many e-mails, facebook comments etc I got after that post. I realize that there is a downside to being overly honest, but I believe there is also an upside. I am glad I wrote that last post, because it worked as therapy for me. I also got some great feedback from other moms that I truly appreciated! We are not in this alone. Quite often I take it on all by myself and don't want to 'vent' to others. However, once in awhile it is necessary.
The biggest response I got, was to have faith. I must admit, my faith has been weak now for a couple years, with financial issues, family health issues, work issues, etc. However, I always thank the Lord for everything that I have.
So, the question lies for me still: why do I get so angry, frustrated, hopeless, and straight crazy? Well, life in general can make you that way sometimes, but after sitting down with my husband friday night and having a discussion (which we have not done in forever, and that is part of the problem!) we both realized some things. Now, to give you some background first, my husband is the most patient, supportive, understanding man I have ever met. Yes, his domestic abilities are not that of my own, but if thats the only complaint, I think you get my drift.
Well, he worries about my health all the time with me being a Type 1 diabetic. He also tracks my moods- literally, on his calendar has been tracking my pms since the twins were born. It seemed to instantly get worse after the babies, so my Dr. prescribed meds for PMDD.
I am NOT a pill taker. Not good at it, never have been, doubt I ever will be. So I am not consistent.
Anyway, he sat me down and told me how worried he was. We then determined that this "Crazy, anger infused" spiral I fall into happens like clockwork. Each month.
I ask this: How, HOW can PMS alone make you want to throw yourself in the car and drive far away from everything you love? Well, I am beginning to think it can. I recently (December) got the Novasure procedure to reduce my periods as they too got worse after kids. The Dr. said that people sometimes show a reduction in PMS symptoms, but that is not a guarantee. Well, I guess I was hoping for a miracle there.
So knowing this now, we are going to take some preventative steps...exercise, low sugar low caffeine diet, sleep (I go to the basement, he takes care of kids) and now the addition of b12 patches, to see how things go. I did some research and show many symptoms of b12 deficiency. I have taken it in pill form before, but as you read above, not so good in the pill taking department.
I will have to keep you all updated on how that works- I would also love it if you could share with me any of your pms reducing tricks.
Ironically I woke up Friday morning, feeling great and like a completely different person than the day before. Crazy isn't it? Scary too. Yes, my kids drive me crazy, they wear me out and I am constantly exhausted. But I look at them and I feel so much love it is overwhelming. So how did I feel the way I did just a few days prior?
Feeling guilty for the way I acted, I told my son I was so sorry. Sorry mommy acted the way she did and lost her temper so often. Sorry I didn't play with him. I told him I would try harder. I told him I loved him no matter what. He replied "I know that mommy, I always know that."
Well then, I guess I'm doing something right.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Warning: this is not a "hearts and flowers" post about being a parent
I have hesitated blogging much this week- this has not been one of my "best times in life" lately. I am at one of those points in my life where I am just sick and tired. Maybe it's partially winter blues, maybe It's PMS, whatever it is, I am tired of it. I'm angry, short tempered, frustrated with most things (especially my children and husband) and feeling hopeless. That was partially why I started this blog and am attempting to create a small home based business where I can feel creative again. However, this week I had no motivation and literally felt like I was going to break.
I would have preferred to be anywhere but with my family this week. That sounds horrible, and if you've never felt this way, you are a lucky individual. My oldest is trying my patience like no one else. Wetting his pants, not listening, doing the absolute opposite of everything I say to the point where he's just doing stupid things. Spilling food all over the house, plugging bathroom sinks and running water over, swearing (my fault no doubt!!). Again he is sick and not sleeping, the twins either. The twins are fighting constantly. Biting, hitting, pulling hair. Everett is starting his terrible 2 fits a little early, and Tagger is either hanging on my legs screaming or pulling stuff off counters- knives, food, coffee (thank the Lord I have caught most of it before getting it to the edge). Then the new thing is to drink from their sippys and spit it all over. Doesn't matter what's in it. Puddles on the carpet, wood floor, ottoman...
Anyway, I felt like I was gonna go off the deep end. I did not enjoy being a parent. I wanted to call somebody to come over and then leave, with no eta to be back. I Locked myself in my bedroom on Monday at least 6 times, and threw something against the wall breaking some wood letters I had hanging. Seriously, scared myself a bit. I wondered what would happen if i decided i didnt want to be a parent and this feeling stuck?
Finally, after not speaking with my husband for 3 nights, I asked him to come home early yesterday. He was home by 5:30- I went straight to the bedroom with wine I made him bring home. He fed the kids, bathed the twins, put everyone to bed. I passed out by 8:30 I believe after crying for about 2 hours. Actually was a relief to have him there so I could just sob.
Got up this morning at 4:30 to a sick crying twin, and shortly after my oldest was up too. Husband left for work and I got on my workout clothes. When I came out the kitchen was clean. That never happens. Only on my watch.
So while I was working out, I thought I felt pretty good today and did not dread the day with my kids. I got some rest and some help. That is when I realized, I need to be selfish. I've felt so bad about doing it, I've actually dug myself into a deep hole and instead of helping, I am hurting my kids. We are not a happy home right now, and that is a very sad thing. There is lots of work to be done; between my husband and I and his work, between my oldest and I and our need to respect each other, between my 3 boys and their need to coincide, but most importantly between me, myself and I. I have always had trouble asking for help- I mean, I'm not weak!!! Why would i need to? Well, I will tell you 4 big reasons why I need to be more selfish, and they are my "boys".
I don't enjoy being so angry with my kids, and wanting to escape because I cannot stand the situation I am in. I rather enjoy feeling good and wanting to make my family life better. To do this, I must start with me. My kids are still gonna drive me crazy. Seriously it's exhausting and I sometimes want to say "what the hell is wrong with your head?!" but I really try not to ;-)
No matter what, I still turn to my boys and say "no matter what you do, or how mad I get, I love you, and always will". I guess that's a start...
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