Key to happiness? I have so many keys on my chain I'm not sure which goes to what anymore...

Happy day folks! I think....I'm trying to make it that way anyway.
Being a SAHM is not what I expected to be doing- thus this blog, my need to be creative, etc etc.  Before having twins, I worked. I worked for the 'man', for corporate, and even for myself!  However, working 'for' kids, well it is the most challenging.  I know, I am summing up that "Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have" but I have to admit, not for the reasons I thought. 
Yes, I run all day- ALL DAY.  Constantly catching kids, pulling them out of harms way, picking up stuff, doing laundry (and the pile always remains the same size??), changing diapers, trying to teach life lessons (sometimes at a very loud level) and trying to keep them safe.  What I did not bargain for, was the constant worry.  Worry about their safely, worry about what they are learning from those around them, worrying they may end up like me, worrying that I am parenting wrong. 
I keep coming back to the same conclusion.  It's me.  I am my own worst enemy, always have been. I expect perfection, I like control, and I am short on patience. Wow, I sound AWESOME don't I??  Ha. Anyway, I don't want to live this life, where I am constantly feeling like I am failing. When one thinks this way, they spiral.  They spiral into a deep hole, and the deeper they spiral the harder it is to get out.

So, I try often, to reign myself in.  This is one of those times.  I have decided that I worry so much about what I am doing wrong, and how it's effecting my kids, that I try harder and then get very discouraged.  Well, what about me??  Why am I not trying harder for me? Thats where it all starts right? This negativity is not helping me, or anyone around me.
If mom ain't happy, nobody's happy.
So, why do we as moms and women neglect ourselves?  For those of you that don't, that have learned this lesson already, please PLEASE share some secrets with me. I on the other hand neglect myself until I have to pull myself out of that deep dark hole....

My BFF Carrie sent me an article that I am going to follow- and I'm also going to add a few additional points of my own. Very simple points, that im sure you've heard before, but sometimes we need reminding. So here is the jist of it:

1) Start thinking of the good things in life.
I look at 3 of those things everyday!  They are the 3 things that drive me mad!  However, sometimes I just need to step back, and breath. Be happy they are healthy, and love me,  and thank the Lord.
I'm going to make a list of 3 things every day, and pin them on my fridge. (I have a daily chart for other things, I can just add this to it! )

2) Use the words "can" and "will" more often. 
This is a big one for me- my son Zane is constantly saying "I can't ..." and my husband just wants to cry.  Well, guess who it comes from?  Without a doubt, its me.  I don't want to pass this along to my sons. So I will stop.  The author says to use the rubber band method- put rubber bands on your wrist and snap yourself each time you use them. Eventually you will want to avoid these words (ie the pain). I guess its worth a shot!! I certainly hear myself say it enough and want to smack myself anyway...

3) Think more about benefits and gains.
This one is not one Ive used much before, and it will also take practice...consistently weigh each action and choice in the light of gains and benefits. If they are huge, or significant enough, go for it.  You will soon find the strength to be the best you can be.  I assume this relates to something like my need to go back to being in my own personal business.  If  the benefits and gains are worth it, I will move forward.

Those are his 3 methods. www.ezinearticles.com, author Daniel J. Thorley.

Now, I plan to add some goals/points to this, relating personally to me. This requires realizing what types of things will help me, in short term and long term.  They could be anything, the possibilities are endless so choose with gusto!

First (and foremost for me):  I am a true believer in exercise and how it effects you mentally, so I am creating my own workout space in our basement that will motivate me!  Quotes, photos, a speaker system incase I wanna take off the headphones, things like that. Exercise helps me feel better mentally and physically and no matter how many times I fall off the wagon, I WILL get back on.  For the betterment of myself and my children.

Second: I am going to forgive.  I have a few things in my life that weigh me down, and make me feel bad. Guilt about failing myself, relationships gone bad; I am going to get rid of those feelings once and for all. I realize that it may take time, but I gotta take the first step right?

Third: show the respect I wish to receive.  I have not been supportive of some of my husbands ventures while I sit at home and lose my mind, but he has always supported and respected me no matter what.  I believe respect is one of the most important things you can give and get in life.

There!  I already feel better!!! Isn't that crazy?? So, I will keep you updated on how this all goes- why don't you tell me your secrets to success as well? I mean, we are in this together right? :-)

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